


No One's to Blame When it Rains

by Drpepperly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Some Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drpepperly/pseuds/Drpepperly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa had always thought he and Iwa-chan would be together no matter what, but sometimes things don't work out the way you think they will and sometimes they do and sometimes rain is all it takes to get two hearts that have always been connected to also be understood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One's to Blame When it Rains

**Author's Note:**

> So this is probably bad, but I had to write something for this pairing because Hajime is my baby and Oikawa is everything I've always hated about myself and I can't handle all these feeeelings! The title is a quote from the best show ever the pet girl of sakura hall which also ruined me so yeah watch it, you'll cry.

Oikawa’s never understood Iwazumi Hajime. Iwa-chan seems to get every aspect of Oikawa even when he doesn’t understand them himself. It seems unfair.

Like the way Iwa-chan knows how he takes his tea and his coffee and the fact that he prefers hot chocolate over both. Or there’s the way the spiker inherently knows where to jump when Oikawa sets up his hit. Then there’s the way he knows when to speak, when to hit, and when to just sit stroking the brunet’s hair while he ugly cries. It’s probably mostly the way Iwa-chan knows how to stop his self-destruction in its tracks. Knows how to reverse it so Oikawa can’t help but end up hopeful that he is enough.

 

* * *

They’re walking home when it comes up. Iwa-chan mentions it offhandedly as if he didn’t just singlehandedly cause Oikawa’s world to crumble if only a little. Oikawa’s arm, which had been slung around his best friend’s shoulders to warm them both in the cold December air, slides back to his side while the words hang heavy and pressing in the air.

“My mom brought home some college brochures from Osaka.”

The ace had kept walking till he realized his setter hadn’t followed and now turned to face Oikawa. For the most part Oikawa hadn’t truly registered what the other had said; it was so out of the blue. He’d always just assumed that Iwa-chan would follow him to whatever college he chose. It had seemed impossible that the dynamic duo would split once high school was over.

The setter registered that Iwa-chan was speaking to him and quickly brushed the heady words from where they had settled onerously on his back, “My Iwa-chan! Can you really stand to be that far from your mother?” He laughs in what he hopes is a convincing manner and before he can stop it, what he really meant to say tumbles out, “I thought we were looking at Tokyo U?”

The derisive snort Iwa-chan gives in response shocks Oikawa almost as much as his best friend’s words do, “As if I could actually get into Tokyo U, ahha. My grades aren’t good enough for that, school doesn’t come to me as easily as it does to you.”

“But Iwa-chan, you have almost straight A’s so the teachers must think you’ll do alright on your exams and besides, your volleyball playing is good enough to get you in anywhere,” Before it can sound too sincere Oikawa tacks on as he sticks his tongue out with a hurried grin, “As long as you have your fabulous setter of course.”

The ace doesn’t respond beyond slugging Oikawa on the arm and using his usual insults for when the setter’s being cocky. They continued home much like any other day, but now it felt almost as if they were both skirting around the subject of the future.

As Oikawa lay in bed later that night Iwa-chan’s words floated through his mind over and over again. The melancholy smile that had settled on his best friend’s face was what bothered him the most. It had slipped into place almost as if it had always been there, as if it reflected how Iwa-chan had always felt. Now he had to wonder if, somehow in his cycle of destroying himself and leaving Iwa-chan to clean up the mess, his insecurities and fears of inadequacy had passed on to the ace.

But that was ridiculous. Surely Iwa-chan saw how great he was, saw that the power behind his spikes wasn’t from his setter but was truly all his own. Because Iwa-chan was really what held Aoba-Johsai together, not Oikawa. It was the strength that the ace gave to the team, and his not so gentle mothering as he made sure everyone kept their grades up and was in good health while spending late nights studying and practicing to balance school and volleyball. It was unreasonable to even consider that maybe Iwa-chan didn’t think he was anything special.

How could he not be special? That would be like saying ocean is just a puddle.

* * *

 

He sees less and less of Iwa-chan after that. His walks home from practice are quiet as his strides are singular and not part of a set anymore. Iwa-chan’s time is now spent off doing some secret thing that he’d told Oikawa not to worry about. The only thing Oikawa can think of is that Iwa-chan must have gotten a girlfriend. Probably that disgustingly sweet girl from 3-B who was always stopping by to “talk with a friend”.

It eats away at him. His role as number one in Iwa-chan’s life was so easily replaced and his childhood friend hadn’t even bothered to tell him the truth. He desperately tries to force the thoughts like that from his mind and shifts his focus even more towards volleyball. The late nights at the gym become more frequent because now he’s trying to drive himself to the point of complete exhaustion so that when he goes home and tries to sleep he can simply pass out. A much better alternative to lying awake thinking about whether or not Iwa-chan has gotten the nerve to kiss this girl he’s kept secret for a month and half (49 days to be exact, not that Oikawa’s been counting). He’s even turned to studying as an alternative to waiting for sleep on those nights when his brain won’t shut off despite how many tosses he’s thrown. His life grows strangely silent, especially on Saturday nights when the pair get together on his roof to stare at the stars, a past favorite habit of theirs that had once been filled with Oikawa prattling on about space and aliens but now is silent as both are too tired to put a charade on during such an intimate moment.

He’s fairly certain Iwa-chan hasn’t noticed yet and he thinks maybe his three cups of coffee each morning routine is actually working. A nasty, black bit of him hisses that maybe Iwa-chan has noticed he’s falling apart and just doesn’t care. Their lives at school haven’t changed much aside from the fact that now Iwa-chan studies during Oikawa’s ramblings instead of just scowling at him, probably to compensate for the time he spends with his girlfriend now. Once Oikawa had asked, in that harsh tone that he hates but can’t really control, if this was the only time Iwa-chan studied which had earned him a lump on the head and a fuming Iwa-chan. It had been an honest question, for if that was the only time Iwa-chan was studying then the ace had really given up on Tokyo, by extension given up on Oikawa.

Time continued to pass in much the same way and Oikawa slipped uncomfortably into this new routine that had been chosen for him. Exams grew closer and closer and were soon the only thing the people around him spoke of, except Iwa-chan who slid smoothly out of questions of college and exams just as smoothly as he would strike a volleyball down on their opponent’s side. Oikawa’s studying had paid off and most of his teachers commented that getting into Tokyo U would be easy for the setter, he smiled that fake face splitting smile at them, the one Iwa-chan hated, and pushed himself harder and harder. Snow turned to rain as February turned into early March. It was a constant downpour unlike what had ever greeted soon to be graduates before and Oikawa thought it seemed perfectly suiting. The sky would cry for him while he continued with his bravado and grin.

* * *

 

He’d woken up late that morning and ran to school with barely enough time to grab his bag let alone coffee or an umbrella. There was one week left till graduation so most of the third years hadn’t been coming to school, but Oikawa knew if he stayed home he would lay in bed and wallow so his attendance continued to be perfect. Now that school was over he was severely regretting the lack of an umbrella as the rain pounded down on the sidewalk outside the building. He stared forlornly at the overcast sky, which showed no chance of clearing soon, and thought that maybe he shouldn’t have encouraged the catharsis that the storms had been giving him.

He’d sunken down further into denying the reason for his extreme reaction to Iwa-chan’s business and now was just as muddled and gray as the covering that blanketed the sky. Hell he’d probably caused the rain to keep falling. Maybe his emotions controlled the weather and it was trying to fulfill all the gloominess it had missed over the past few months in the space of two weeks. Now he sat umbrella-less and a mess with too much time on his hands, something he had avoided since it meant he had to actually face himself and his feelings for Iwa-chan.

His feelings that had somehow shifted from that of a friend and teammate to something more. What once had been admiration and attachment which came from being childhood friends was now some monstrous mass of devotion and yearning. He’d fallen in love with Iwa-chan at some point. Looking back, there wasn’t one moment to really pin the change to. Perhaps he’d always loved Iwa-chan.

His reverie was interrupted by a shoulder shoving into his own as someone sat down beside him on the steps under the school’s awning, “There’s no way the perfect Assikawa forgot an umbrella.”

“I didn’t forget, Iwa-chan, I just didn’t remember!” He responds automatically, perfectly trained to answer their usual banter. His face flushes from what he was just thinking and Iwa-chan has some seriously awful timing.

Their knees brush against each other as Iwa-chan settles more comfortably on the concrete, “Pff, whatever, Trashikawa,” Iwa-chan actually looks at Oikawa beside him and the shock at what he sees actually registers on the ace’s face, “Jesus Oikawa, what on earth have you been doing? You look like shit, just how much sleep have you been getting?”

Oikawa tries to wave it away vaguely but his friend is stubborn as always when it comes to the brunet’s health and when Oikawa finally tells him that he’s averaging three hours of sleep a night the look that crosses the other boys face is oddly terrifying. It warms him to see Iwa-chan worrying over him; the black thing in his mind murmurs that it’s just the ace’s mothering that he extends to everyone.

“You’ve probably been practicing too much as well, you’re coming over once this weather clears up so I can have a look at your knee,” Iwa-chan sighs with that tone of finality that usually makes Oikawa complacent, he’s rubbing at the bridge of his nose in annoyance the way he does when he starts to get a headache, “I don’t understand what got you worked up enough for this bout of self-destruction though what with volleyball being over.”

“Goodness, Iwa-chan! Volleyball isn’t the only thing I care about, I have a wide variety of things to despair about and an even wider amount to improve in myself,” it’s coupled with a laugh to try and take the edge off of what he just declared.

“Don’t you pull that fake laugh with me, god I wish you’d stop saying things like that. How is it that you truly don’t understand how amazing you are, Trashikawa? You blame all the bad things on yourself and ignore the good things, hell you’d try to take responsibility for the rain if you could.”

“Oh the rain is indeed my fault. I control the weather, Iwa-chan.”

Iwa-chan’s hand rose and Oikawa flinched expecting to be hit, but instead that warm, calloused hand threaded into his hair and tugged his head down to the sturdy shoulder beside him. They sat like that for a moment before Iwa-chan finally opened his mouth, “No one is to blame when it rains, Tooru.”

The warmth of his first love’s words and body was too much for Oikawa in that moment. A steady stream of tears began flowing from his eyes, blinding him as Iwa-chan pulled him into a crushing hug so he could properly cling to the ebony-haired boy. He sobbed into the other’s neck, hands roaming across the broad back of the only person who had ever told him he was enough and gripping the fabric of their school’s uniform. Iwa-chan merely stroked his hair and counted his vertebrae again and again.

Oikawa pulled back, tears still coming, and before he could think to stop them, the words that had filled him for years gushed forth like a river from a broken dam between broken sobs and gasps, “Hajime, Hajime! I love you! Please don’t leave to Osaka, please don’t have a girlfriend, please don’t love anyone but me! I love you, Hajime, I love you. I want to be the only one you look at and be the only one you think about. I want to rent a shitty apartment together in Tokyo and decorate with things that you’ll call ridiculous but allow me to put up anyway and I want to hold your hand when we walk home from practice and I want to kiss you until we can’t anymore because we’ve forgotten to breath and our lips are sore. I need you with me, Hajime, I love you, I really really love you!”

He didn’t wait for the other’s response, instead opting to sprint out into the still falling deluge. Iwa-chan was chasing him; he could hear the ace’s steady footfalls behind him as he rushed on. They didn’t get far before the spiker gripped his shoulder and turned Oikawa around to face him.

The look on Iwa-chan’s face was one he’d never seen before and froze him to the spot while the other caught his breath before speaking, “Don’t you dare run away after saying something like that! Don’t have a girlfriend, don’t go to Osaka, don’t love anyone but you! As if I could you asshole! As if you haven’t completely taken over my life! I realized long ago that none of those were an option for me. That’s why I’ve been going to cram schools day in and day out just to be certain I could go to Tokyo with you! Don’t you dare run away from me, Tooru, because I have spent too long chasing after you! If you go any farther I don’t know that I’ll be able to keep up and god do I want to keep up. I love you too, Tooru. So don’t run from me, don’t run from this because we can do it. We can get that wretched apartment in Tokyo and put up posters from crappy American sci-fi movies and curl around each other on the couch while doing homework and I’ll wear the awful Area-51 shirts you give me and you’ll steal my sweatshirts. I love you, Oikawa Tooru, and you love me so let’s do this whole shitty transitioning thing and exist together!”

Hajime pressed his lips to Tooru’s still ones in a surprisingly gentle manner and pulled back to rest their foreheads against each other. Tooru processed everything that had just happened and drew back, “So you aren’t dating the disgustingly sweet girl from 3-B?”

“Of course not you idiot, I’ve only ever been looking at you. I didn’t even know there was someone like that in 3-B,” Hajime’s laughter was cut off by Tooru pulling him back in for a hasty kiss, crushing their lips together desperately. They stood there in the continuing rainfall laughing and kissing and somewhat crying for a while until Hajime dragged them home to dry off and check Tooru’s knee like he’d originally planned to.

* * *

 

Exams came and went so they still hadn’t spent a satisfactory amount of time together, but Oikawa wasn’t worried anymore. They had the rest of their lives to figure out what exactly they were and he planned on taking as much time as needed. For now he grasped his Hajime’s hand and danced amongst the crowd surrounding the Tokyo U boards laughing and kissing and planning what poster to put above their bed.


End file.
